When I Tell My Child About 9/11

I was almost nine years old on 9/11/2001. There aren't a lot of memories from then. I remember that we turned on the news in class, and that the adults at school were somber. I also remember standing in front of the TV in my living room, and the smoke, the chaos, and eventually the Twin Towers falling played on repeat. What could a child like me understand about such an event? Could I really grasp the level of hate then? What about the love of those who responded? Did the heaviness of those lives lost hit me? I don't think it did. I think I could grasp that something horrible had happened and people were sad because of it.

9/11 has a bigger emotional impact now. Today I watched clips on Facebook, interviews with survivors and the last calls of those whose lives were lost that day. My heart broke hearing victims call their loved ones a final time or pleading with the poor 911 operator because they didn't want to die. It was a day never to be forgotten.

It was a nightmare, a living nightmare. It showed some of the worst of humanity. But it also showed the very best.

As my daughter grows, she will know that 9/11 occurred in her mother's lifetime. What am I going to tell her about that day? Will I tell her about the people who threw themselves from the building to their death because they must have decided it was the better way to go? Will I tell her about the first responders who lost their lives going in when they must have known they wouldn't come out? Will I explain how someone could hate so much that they would be capable of causing such carnage and destruction?

At the heart of whatever conversation we have when Emma is older will be a lesson I want her to learn. In this world, there are people who want to cause harm, and so harm is what they will cause. We can't control that. But we can want to do good. If we want to do good, good is what we will do. It's the only way we can combat what's wrong in the world. When there's hurt, we heal. When there's destruction, we build. When there's need, we help. When there's darkness, we shine.

When I tell Emma about 9/11, I will tell her that many people died, many hearts were broken, and it was a horrible, terrible day in our country. But even before the smoke cleared, even as the worst was happening, people made good happen, too. And I hope Emma knows how important that is, how brave, and how world-changing.

I don't want her to be awed by the hate that day. I want her to be awed by the love.