In Which I'm Challenging Myself

It’s a challenge opening up to the world, of being vulnerable, of putting myself out there. Social media is a blessing and a curse. It can connect so many people for good, but, just like anything else, it can also be negative.

I’ve been attempting to be more active online, but I feel I need to draw a line in the sand separating sharing too much and not sharing enough. See, I want people to get to know me and decide they want to continue to get to know me because they like me. I want people to care about the things I write about, the things I share. But I also don’t want my entire life to be available online because there are private moments that aren’t for just anyone to be included in. And while I share funny or cute posts about my family, my husband and children deserve their privacy, as well.

In a way, I’m envious of those who don’t care about social media, who don’t feel the need to post often (if ever), and who aren’t checking periodically to see if what they’ve put up has gotten anyone’s attention. And it’s fine when it doesn’t! It shouldn’t matter. But it does a bit more when you’re in the same boat as me, putting more content up because I’m practicing for the day that I might have to market myself online to get readers.

Misery! I am a terrible salesperson. I don’t want to see anyone as just a potential reader. When I think of someone who has that viewpoint, I visualize the people who leave comments or DMs outright asking for people to read their work, buy their art, follow their accounts, without any invitation or, at least, a graceful start to a conversation that could lead to that request. It’s icky. And it doesn’t appear to be successful. At least, I know I’ve ignored them when I’ve received messages like that.

But despite the challenge and my struggling confidence in my abilities, I’m going to keep trying, keep practicing, because that’s the only way I’m going to get better at writing posts like these or posting on Instagram or, eventually, TikTok. I’m practicing making videos on my private Instagram account because I trust those who follow me to be kind and supportive (or just click off my post if it’s not something they care to view). But I have a goal in August to post a TikTok video where I talk about…something. What? No idea. But something. And my account isn’t private, which opens me up to either finding new people who I can connect with in a positive way or bringing on the trolls.

Along with that goal, I have the following goals:

1. Read through my novel Sidekick and start rewrites by the beginning of September

2. Write something, anything every day in August

3. Read from one of my books in the TBR pile every day in August

I’ve done better with reading this month than I have in a while, trying to put my phone down more when the baby is contact-napping and pick up a book instead. I finished reading six books.

1. For Love or Honor (The Jonquil Brothers #5) by Sarah M. Eden

2. The Princess in Black and the Perfect Princess Party by Shannon Hale (read aloud to Emma before bed)

3. Loving Lieutenant Lancaster (The Lancaster Family #4) by Sarah M. Eden

4. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

5. The Heart of a Vicar (The Jonquil Brothers #6) by Sarah M. Eden

6. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien

I enjoyed each of these and have a special place in my heart for Sarah M. Eden’s work, especially. If anyone is looking for charming, sweet regency romances, I highly recommend The Jonquil Brothers and The Lancaster Family novels. I hope to get to the last book in both of those series respectively (which happens to be the same book, Charming Artemis) soon.

Originally, I had written on this site once a week up until Harper was born. Now my goals there have shifted, thanks to the feedback of a few of my loved ones and to my being honest with myself about the difficulty of updating a blog so often. Now, I plan to post once a month on the last day of the month (unless it falls on a Sunday, in which case it will be the second-to-last day). I am determined that the next post will include an update on how I met each goal I’ve set for August.

In the meantime, I will be one of my own cheerleaders. And I will hopefully not experience any soul-crushing doubt. If the Doubt Monster creeps from the corners of my mind, I shall have to slay him.

Until we meet again on this page. Good luck to you in the meeting of your own goals this upcoming month!